neglected... neglected...

guess I’m as neglected as my blog… well well so I shall at least not neglect my blog… and friends… hmm guess people can only be friends if they need each other in some place at some time… so even the best of friends can become strangers if they are together in the wrong place at the wrong time… have I changed??? I seriously wonder… changed for the worst??? hmm… I thought I always hold others in the first place as compared to myself… well I guess when I do try to bring myself before everyone I’ve changed for the worst… becoming more selfish… becoming more self centered… as much as I tried to satisfy everyone I end up satisfying no one… not even myself… or is it that I was a much better person then because I care much more for others… and now that I’ve decided to care a bit more for myself I end up not satisfying the needs of others… and I think there’s really no one in this world who understands me… kind of sad but true… how many people actually come to me when I need them… hmm maybe it’s my fault too… trying to put on a strong front… but that’s really because I don’t feel that bad… so when I’m told that I’m negatively affected by my emotional attachments… I thought I’m not… but maybe I am and I really don’t know… many things had happen… especially a major one… and I can’t say I’m not at all affected by it… but then when I say I’m not… am I lying to myself??? hmm… I guess maybe my mentality did change a lot within this year… that I learn to take things the easy way… and that people come to you when they do need something… and when they are done they just leave… way of life isn’t it… and am I really getting very unpc??? hmm hmm hmm… I guess so… but then again… this is me I must say so too bad…